Why You're Struggling With Self-Control (And How To Overcome It)

There’s no human being on earth who hasn’t struggled with self-control in one area of their life or another. We’ve all been there. We decide we don’t want to do something, yet before long, we find ourselves desiring nothing but that one thing. Then, an internal conflict arises: To give in or not. But why this constant struggle, and how do we overcome it?

The Apostle put it this way: "For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing." (Romans 7:19, NIV)

Why Is Controlling Yourself Such a Struggle?

We are always being influenced—either by God, urging us to do what is right, or by Satan, tempting us to do what is wrong.

Our spirit—the real us—knows right from wrong and is designed to desire what is right because that’s how God created us.

However, our soul—where we experience emotions—has been polluted by sin and craves what feels good to the flesh, regardless of its consequences.

If we were not influenced by a force outside of ourselves, we could simply decide we don’t want to do something, and there would be no resistance—but that’s not the reality.

The Struggle For Self-Control

The human soul craves a master and is always searching for one. We are always serving something or someone, whether we realize it or not.

The only way for either God or Satan to influence us is by communicating to our minds (or soul), because it’s the soul that directs the body. Whoever rules the soul rules the person.

So, the struggle for self-control is, in reality, our spirit fighting to exercise authority over our soul to control what we do with our body. We want to bring our desires under subjection to what we know is right so that we are not controlled by them.

How to Exercise Self-Control

Since the human soul is always seeking a master, we are constantly serving something or someone.

Therefore, the only way to control what happens in the soul (and exercise self-control) is by choosing who rules your life: God or Satan.

Because of the fall of man, Satan became the default ruler (even for those who think they haven’t chosen). The only way to uproot his influence is through Jesus Christ, because He alone conquered Satan.

In Jesus, we have the power and authority to resist temptation and live a life that reflects our true selves as God created us to be.

Satan, on the other hand, wants us to live a counterfeit life—one that feels good in the moment but ultimately leads to destruction.

If you were choosing a boss, would you choose the one who hates you and seeks your destruction or the One who loves you and desires to see you become everything you were created to be?

To exercise self-control, submit to Jesus.

“So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.” Galatians 5:16 NLT