Have The Hard Conversations

'“If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend…" Matthew 18:15 (MSG)

For introverts like myself, the idea of telling someone directly that they wronged you is cringy! We’d rather hold things in until we eventually forget about it or find a way to cope. But this is neither biblical nor healthy for developing meaningful relationships.

The enemy loves things done in secrecy because darkness serves as fertile ground for him to plant thoughts that can destroy us and our relationships. When someone offends us and we keep it in instead of addressing the issue in love with the person, we give the enemy the foothold he’s always looking for.

When offense stays in our hearts, we meditate on it instead of the Word of God. As we dwell on it, Satan brings up things the person may have done in the past—things we may have already forgiven. By the time he’s done adding fuel to the fire, he’s destroyed the character of the person in our minds to the point where we can barely stand to look at them, leaving us bitter and even angrier. 

Meanwhile, the person is oblivious to the inner turmoil we’re suffering. When we fail to address problems, we rob the other person of the opportunity to repent. It could have been a simple misunderstanding, but because we chose to hide and stew over it, we amplified it and most likely blew it out of proportion.

That’s why God, in His love and wisdom, tells us to go to our brother. Light exposes the devil and uproots his seeds of discord.

Many lost relationships today weren’t the result of something unsalvageable. Instead, they ended because we chose not to let the other person know they had offended us.

So, speak up and shame the devil when someone hurts you.